Could this be the next Gerber baby? Or, maybe the next Christmas calendar baby. Kayleigh posed so perfectly for all of us as if she sits for pictures all of the time. I'm sure her mommy is posting this one on her blog as we all decided it was the perfect pose once Mike (Abba) uploaded it onto the computer. Sharing Christmas day with the family made for an extra special day. 

Kayleigh Lynn Russell with her great-grandpa Russell. Grandpa is thrilled to have a granddaughter he gets to see often!  

Christmas morning at our house with youngest son Justin, Michelle and Kayleigh.  

25 years ago today, Justin Lee Russell came into our lives weighing in at 9lbs 6.5oz. and 20.75 inches. In the top photo he is one week old. The second photo, he is three weeks old. Happy birthday son, we love you! 

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas!
 

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot like Christmas!

We are getting more than snow flurries; we’re actually getting an accumulation of snow! It looks beautiful coming down with huge snowflakes that almost look like snowballs. The weather report predicts at least 3 inches of snow and it should stick around until Christmas day when the temperatures rise to the 50’s. The roads are too warm for the snow to stick to for now, but the grassy areas and roof tops are getting a white blanket covering.

The photo I posted was taken on Valentine's Day this year but we used it for our Christmas cards this year, it was so beautiful.

Last grade

I finally received my last grade in my Speech class, an A. I'm glad for it; however, I am thankful the class is over! What I learned as a result of being in this class, is that it allowed me to practice confidence in whom I am in the Lord and in the position I have been created for, without fear, excuses or arguments. The class didn’t teach me this; I learned it as the result of taking a stand for what is right. Anyway, it is over and now I can move on.

Today marks one week into my holiday break and I have crossed off most of my “to do” list! I’ve always been organized and pretty efficient with my time, I just never realized how much I could get finished now that school is out for the holiday. Or, maybe I should say that as the result of being in school, where I had to really make the most of my time, I now get much more accomplished in an allotted amount of time. I have even added several projects to my original list as my creative juices flowed...finished them too! With our mild Texas weather holding out, I finally got to take care of the last few outdoor projects. So, now the garden is cleaned up and put to bed for the winter, the outside windows are washed, the leaves are in the compost and everything is ready for winter to arrive officially, tomorrow. Our weather report is saying that we might get some snow flurries on Wednesday this week. We tend to get ice and rarely does it snow here in North Texas, but it would be fun to get a few inches of snow that is, as long as it goes away by the end of the day and I don’t have to get out in it.

Next week after Christmas, we will take the motorhome out for a few days and go camping. We haven’t gone as much as we normally go, not since I’ve been in college year round. Mike and I love getting away, hiking and biking around in the country and just enjoying nature all around us. It’ll be a nice break away from the normal routines. Once we come back, my calendar is filled with appointments, hair, dentist, veterinary and a couple of dinner parties. All this squeezed in before my trip to Oregon for a week. My brother and his wife own their own business and have a workshop/conference to attend to for the week, while their two kids stay home because they are in school. This takes place every other year and so this will be my second year to go during January. My DIL, Michelle and granddaughter, Kayleigh will be flying with me this time. It’s always fun when I go out there, but having Michelle and Kayleigh with me during the day will make the days go by faster. I usually have a list of projects to work on when I’m there, but they don’t always take up all of my time and I’m not much of a TV watcher, so it can get boring even with reading. Four days after we get home, classes start up again.

I have learned how to be still for periods of time, but for the most part I tend to be a busy type of person and get bored if I don’t have something productive going on. I even have two to three books going at the same time, I’m down to two now. I decided to open up my British Literature (next semester) book and start doing some background research on the first chapter, Beowulf. If it weren’t for the fact that this book must weigh two pounds and is huge, I’d take it with me to Oregon to read. But, there is just no easy way to tote this book on board without it counting as a carry-on. Anyway, the preview for this very long poem/story sounds interesting and I’m looking forward to getting into it.

If you’re one of those who don’t get much time to yourself anymore, just remember that it is the season you are in and it will change, mine did. Enjoy each season, I have, and it only gets better as each season comes and goes.

Finals are Over!

I made it through a whole year of college! Our grades are in, but the system to check them on-line is down. Here is what I know for sure: I have an A in algebra and in English. The grade I’m not sure about is for speech. The speeches and tests weren’t hard, but that won’t really be the determining factor for this class as I have alluded to in my last posting. I can only hope for the best and remind myself that I made my stand based on principle at the risk of my grade and that is more important than a letter grade, right? I’ll keep telling myself this, it’s still difficult to accept anything less than an A when I did the work.

We finally got the house decorated and the tree up! I love decorating my house for Christmas, but this year was my first to be in college at the same time. I seriously considered not putting the tree up. Michael decided that “we” (he never really did anything before except put the tree in its stand) needed to do it all for Kayleigh’s first Christmas. So, while the kids have grown up and moved out, we will somehow find the time to put up the tree and decorate the house for the grandchildren. It’s going to work out to our advantage anyway since I wanted to pose Justin, Michelle and Kayleigh for their first family portrait in front of the tree. I'll post a picture after we get them finished.

Okay, so now I have four weeks off before the spring semester starts and I have a semi-long list of projects I want to tackle and hopefully conquer before my life is consumed again with studies. Thank you everyone for supporting me throughout this year, you have made a difference in my life.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!
Love to all

1+1= 1, Isolate for A
A B

Algebra:

I had my chapter test in Algebra on Friday and when I finished it, my teacher graded it on the spot and then tallied my semester grade…I had 106.15 points! I knew I wouldn’t need to take the finals, but I hadn’t kept up with how many points I had for the class, so I was surprised with my final tally. I’m not one of those who keeps track with the idea of how many points I need on each test to pass, as I have listened to others who do this. I figured that “whatsoever, my hand finds to do, do it with all your might!” right? Anyway, I actually like algebra – not enough to change my major, but enough to say that I enjoy the class. My teacher has been wonderful, so patient and she loves having non-traditional students. I’ll be taking the next level of algebra with the same teacher for the spring semester and then…I will be taking the last class of algebra for my college career next fall. As my son would say, “woohoo!”

Literature and Composition:

Love this class!! I enjoyed my English classes while I was in high-school, but not like I do now. I know it has a lot to do with finding my voice (both verbalized and written); however, I do believe it has more to do with the Professor. This is my second semester with the same Professor and won’t be my last. His style of teaching supports my learning and personal style, boundaries with lots of creative freedom. We also have a lot of similar personality traits which has helped when working together as a team on behalf of the class. I’ve been his unofficial teacher’s assistant this semester which has been really beneficial for him while he is working on his doctorate. I have enjoyed the position since I love to help/teach/mother, and the students come to me anyway. Hopefully, I’ll be this professor’s official TA for next semester since we do work well together and it’ll be his first semester teaching British Literature while working on his doctorate on top of the other classes he teaches. I don’t know my final grade for this class, but should find out next week when finals are officially over. Our last paper counts as our finals and is sent via computer with a dead-line of Sunday at midnight. I don’t know the last count of students he has to grade for, but it’ll be a lot of reading he has to get through before everyone gets their grade.

Speech:

Lastly, my s p e e c h class. Actually, this was my first class each day, but it gets mentioned last for a myriad of reasons. I loved speech in high-school, have spoken in several places across Texas and don’t have too much difficulty with speaking in front of a group. However, it didn’t take more than 3 days before I knew the teacher was going to be difficult. I’m not talking about a hard teacher who expects a higher level of anything; I’m talking about a teacher who isn’t emotionally stable. I watched this person (hard to call her a teacher when she didn’t teach us anything academically) have emotional “melt-downs” in class, get flustered, lose her self control and have no consistent standards by which to grade or critique. Ever the optimist, I kept hoping for the next day or next week or maybe, just maybe, the next month of this semester to see a change for the better, but it never came. It took the 10th week for me to finally do something about it after I intercepted several complaints by my classmates (three who dropped the class during this week). The short of it, I sent a four page, objectively detailed account of what I witnessed and sent it to the Dean and department head. After I took this action, any complaints I heard from the other students, I bluntly told them to write a letter of grievance and send it to the Dean. The last count of those who sent their letters in, 7 out of 17, but the count may go up now that the semester is over. I don’t wish this designated “teacher” ill will, but I do hope she takes a break or gets some help before she is back in the classroom. I could conclude this account by saying that I did learn something, indirectly from her…I practiced my voice and stood my grounds on several issues and then followed through by reporting the injustice. The other lesson I learned after I realized that I was in a position as a hub or central point of contact for the other students, was to balance being a student while I’m also leading.

This whole year has felt like a fast paced, advanced learning course. What I have learned academically has been encouraging (you’re never too old to learn), but I think I have learned more about myself, and that has built my confidence. I’m going to enjoy my time off before next semester starts, but I’m anticipating next semester to see what the Lord has planned for me as I continue this journey.

A Woman Endued with Power

As much as I love to write, I just haven’t had the time during these past few weeks to write for fun. However, that time is over! Finals are next week and the only one I have to take is a written test for speech.

I just finished my essay paper for Literature and Composition, (all ten pages) titled, “A Woman Endued with Power.” I wrote about Kate Chopin and her short story, The Story of an Hour. I read a lot of essays and other information about her while doing my research, and I can understand how others perceive her as a feminist. However, I don’t think that is all Chopin is about. No where did I come across anything that said she was out to usurp men’s authority. I likened her to the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. Anyway, what I realized about myself as I was writing this paper is that my paper is about myself and what I have learned this year. Here is my conclusion:

The moment a woman knows her place, without being defined by labels, is the moment she will be able to embrace herself as a woman who has the power to speak from her heart, and recognizes her own ability for independent intellect; she is a woman that is able to pursue the desires of her heart. It is this woman, who will be the one who recognizes this awakening within herself, even if no others do, who can say “what did it matter!” for she is now, a woman endued with power.

I have become that woman! I discovered my voice and have practiced using it all year until my confidence caught up with it. I can say that I have been noticed, by my peers, other students and academically. As for pursuing and getting my desires met, I’m in college and this has been one of my biggest desires to pursue and fulfill. This in turn has spilled over into other areas in my personal life where I don’t stop at meeting the needs of others, I am also getting my needs met.

Monday is my last day for this semester. I feel that I have grown academically, but most importantly, I have grown personally. I have four weeks off to catch up on all of the projects I have had to put on the back burner while I worked on school assignments. Maybe, I’ll even get my house decorated for Christmas with enough time to enjoy it before I have to take it all back down. I know this is only the season I am in and it too will pass, only to be exchanged for another. In the meantime, I plan on enjoying every minute of my season.

Have you heard?

Do you know how to eat an elephant? You eat it one bite at a time. Who would want to eat an elephant? Not me! This expression isn’t literally talking about eating an elephant, although if you were, the answer would be the same. You could use this expression for just about any task that seems insurmountable, and for me, there are some weeks when it means college homework.

I love having a syllabus to work from, it gives me the big picture and for those of you who know me, I thrive on having the big picture. Anyway, I try to work ahead as far as I can. You just never know what might come up later in the week when you thought you would have the time to write a paper or read a chapter of poems, and then there is algebra…so I work ahead. However, there will be those times that no matter how much you work ahead, it seems that everything is due at the same time and you just don’t think you’ll ever get through it all on time. This is when I take one bite at a time and before I know it, I have taken a huge bite out of my “elephant” until I can actually see beyond the obstacle. And so, here I am sitting down taking a break and typing some random thoughts as I digest my “elephant”.

I shared another expression several times last week. I can’t remember the name of the mini-series I heard this from, but it was on television a few years ago and I thought it profound. The community in this movie used the expression “one drop fills the ocean” to explain how one person can make a difference. Such an insightful statement! I’m a visual person and as a teacher realize there are many others out there who are visual also. So when it comes to encouraging my fellow classmates and peers to get out and vote, because their vote can make a difference, this quote came to mind. It’s exciting to see when that light of comprehension goes on. Everyone likes to think that what they contribute to our society really does matter.

Nature Forces Me to take a break:

I’m sitting at the computer listening to a composed music piece for William Blake’s poem, “The Lamb” while I go over my collected research for an upcoming poetry paper for English. All of a sudden I get a glimpse of a trio of late spring born squirrels playing in my garden. I know most people only see them as rodents, but I see them as part of God’s creation and right now, they have forced me to stop and take a mental break from my paper and just enjoy their antics. It seems that they find the grape vine leaves a delicacy as they strip one young leaf after another. One young squirrel found some dried bean pods on the bean pole and is literally flipping over his discovery. His antics have drawn the attention of his litter mates and now a game of tag is on.

Squirrels aren’t my only diversions, I also have wrens that come to the window ledge and fight with their reflection in the window. This east facing window overlooks the garden and is situated behind my computer screen. The wrens are only one of the many types of birds that come to my garden. I’ve watched a Coopers Hawk build a nest in the bird house situated on a high pole in the center of the garden and that was after a pair of Starlings raised a clutch of babies. This bird house has been occupied by a variety of birds throughout this year; I never knew so many types would use it after others have nested in it. Watching the coming and going of the different species is like watching the calendar change through the seasons. I can tell that fall is here, the hummingbirds, which collected nectar from the Rose of Sharon bushes just outside of the garden, have migrated somewhere south of here. The huge tree, I have yet to identify, is shedding its leaves as if it were snowing multi-colors of yellow, orange, brown and a remnant of green. The gravel pathways between the raised beds are now carpeted with a layer of colors, soon to decompose and add valuable nutrients to the drowsy garden. There are a few tomatoes yet to be picked as there are quite a few bell peppers left. The cooler temperatures have boosted the production of the peppers, I can see yellow, orange and red ones all designated to be grilled for the next fajita meal. I can’t forget to mention my Camellias which are beginning to blossom in mass. Their vibrant shade of pink won’t let me forget them as they stand out in the midst of this fall palette of gold, oranges and browns. I love their pink color as it always brings a smile to my face; it is my favorite color and not one you normally associate with fall.

As if Nature’s daytime drama isn’t enough to keep me from becoming engulfed by my school work, there are the activities at night which take place just outside and on the window. We have so many varieties of lizards which visit, some during the day but one at night. I especially enjoy watching the Mediterranean geckos, which are attracted to the light shining through my unclosed blinds, as they attempt to capture moths that are also attracted to the light. Stopping to watch a gecko in the evening hours is a sure way to slow me down and keep my busy life in balance. I have choices; I can stop and smell the roses in my flower garden or stop and enjoy Nature and God’s creation just outside of my window. What good is it if I put all of my energy into succeeding in school, only to miss out on what is taking place all around me? If you haven’t taken time out to enjoy this season, I’m encouraging you to be still and take notice of all that God has created for our pleasure.

Intellectual

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary intellectual is defined as: 1. of, relating to, or performed by the intellect: RATIONAL 2. given to study, reflection, and speculation 3. engaged in activity requiring the creative use of the intellect.

I had a session with my counselor (Tammy) yesterday and one of the topics we talked about was my joining Phi Theta Kappa and what it means to me. I’m maintaining a 4.0 GPA but this doesn’t mean that I “feel” smart or think of myself as smart. I understand that my grades represent my ability to apply myself and process the information I receive so that when it comes time to reproduce that information, it can them be represented by a letter grade or percentage. My peers and fellow classmates have been saying, “you’re so smart, you’re so creative, and you’re so….,” compliments that are being spoken with sincerity, but compliments I haven’t been use to hearing outside of the biasness of my husband and close friends. I have been rewriting and redefining a lot of wrong messages that were sent to me as a child. I had to ask Tammy, “Why is that I have been so affected by these messages when they occurred long ago, even though I have spent the last 27 years of my life surrounded with positive messages?” I knew the answer to my question but it just helped to ask it out loud. So, Tammy and I talked about this idea and we concluded that I needed to redefine what it means to be considered an intellectual.

Since I’m visual, I use a mental picture of a tape recorder as I erase the old, wrong messages and tape over with new messages and definitions and then I hit replay a few times until I am able to assimilate the new information. Having reflected on the definition of what an intellectual is has helped me to realize that I am and have been an intellect. The definition provides me with something which is concrete, not biased and won’t change based on how someone else feels about me.

I wished I had heard my parents say they were proud of me and my accomplishments, but they didn’t and perhaps they never will. I have grieved over this, but it is time to grow beyond it and live. With this thought, I have come to realize that I no longer need to hear it from them to know that I have accomplished some outstanding skills, using what is considered my intellectual abilities. I’ll not feel comfortable with others calling me this or even labeling me as being smart. It isn’t out of a false sense of humility that I say this; it’s more from the awareness that when others hold you up on a pedestal, a fall is inevitable. What ever I achieve in this life, it is my desire to serve God fully with all of my heart, mind and soul. If man is pleased with me and my achievements, I shall receive it as the praise and recognition it is intended to be. However, it is for my Heavenly Father’s praises that I seek and will count as sufficient.

Something to Think About:

For those of you who have wondered what I do when I'm up at all hours of the night, here is a sample of some literature my English Prof. suggested I read. I find it funny when I think about the stuff I'm reading now, as opposed to what I use to read. I read a lot, but I don't think I would have chosen to read something from Rousseau. However, it is good to be exposed to some of the old Literary Authors, you discover how much they understood and how that knowledge has withstood the test of times, making it relevent for today. If you are interested in this author's literature, just look him up on the web. there are many sites to choose from.

Warning: Don't read his literature before you go to bed, it'll keep you up with your brain whirling in circles as you try to comprehend what he has written and how it applies to today. What I wrote after reading Emile was my response to his message. I couldn't just shut down the computer, or my brain, and go to bed without expressing my reaction. This seems to happen often after I read something which stimulates the intellect.

"If matter in motion points me to a will, matter in motion according to fixed laws points me to an intelligence; that is the second article of my creed. To act, to compare, to choose are the operations of an active, thinking being, so this being exists. Where do you find him existing, you will say not merely in the revolving heavens nor in the sun which gives us light, not in myself alone, but in the sheep that grazes, the bird that flies, the stone that falls, and the leaf blown by the wind." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau).

I read the above quote in Emile, (1755). Everyman Edition, 1911; excerpt: Creed of a Savoyard Priest. I can see how the author’s literature could be used as a resource to recommend for reading to someone who struggles with the idea of whether or not God exist. Rousseau attacks the intellect with steps of logical deduction. I can’t imagine reading this right before going to sleep; it stirs up some deep thinking. Anyway, as I read it I wondered, do we still have philosophers, those who really apply thinking? Or, has man just laid down to mindless acceptance of whatever they are fed, asking no questions, thinking no deep thoughts, finding no satisfaction in seeking truth. A frightening thought when you consider the consequences; who or what then has power over what we are learning and how it affects our thinking and the way we perceive and interact with the world around us. I for one will fully accept the existence of God and yield to His direction, His truth and laws, as He dictates to me how and what I should be thinking and doing. It is by faith that I actively seek knowledge, not with mindless neglect as some are doing.

Poetry Readings

We have started reading poetry for English 1302. I enjoy most poetry, more so now then ever before. I think I’m reading it with more critical thinking involved, rather then just reading it as a way to tickle my ears with the rhythm and rhyme of the words. It has helped to make the poetry more enjoyable after looking up background information in connection to the author. It takes a little more work, but I think it has been worth the effort. I now have more appreciation for the author and their poetry.

Our next paper will be on one of the poems in our anthology book and I have chosen to write about Christina Rossetti and her poem, Uphill. I started reading about her life and other works she has written. I started a file on my computer and it's full of information with a basic outline I’ll use to break down the poem, line by line. It’s easy to see her spirituality in this poem and I hope to use it to plant a seed in the hearts of my classmates.

Uphill (1861)

Does the road wind uphill all the way?
Yes, to the very end.
Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?
From morn to night, my friend.

But is there for the night a resting-place?
A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.
May not the darkness hide it from my face?
You cannot miss that inn.

Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?
Those who have gone before.
Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?
They will not keep you standing at the door.

Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?
Of labor you shall find the sum.
Will there be beds for me and all who seek?
Yea, beds for all who come.

I finally hit the point of exasperation with my fellow classmates this week. My Professor warned me a couple weeks ago about this when he expressed his awareness that I would become frustrated with the class. I assured him that I didn’t think I would feel that way this semester, as I have come to terms with the differences between the younger students and myself. I’m in school to learn as much as I can, not just because it’ll get me a better paying job (even though it will), I simply love to learn. I realize the majority of students are there for so many other reasons and not necessarily to learn. Anyway, I have tried to be a buffer between my Professors and the students by encouraging my fellow classmates to get their work done and turned in on time as a way to show respect to the teachers who give so much of themselves. I have done this by sending e-mail reminders, meeting with them in between classes, phone calls and staying after my last class to "tutor" those who have asked for help. However, I am feeling more like “the mom” or “the teacher,” rather than a fellow classmate and it has started to take its toll on me. I am reviewing my personal boundaries and accepting that I can’t do it for everyone; I can only be responsible for my own integrity. This leads me to shortening my responses to pleas for help by simply saying, “What does the syllabus say?” One of my favorite Professors says this a lot! I found this answer to be maddening and actually felt my anger rising when I asked him this question, after looking in the syllabus, during my first semester with him. It reminded me of my parents when they would say, “I said such and such, because I said so!” With this memory in mind, I don’t quite leave my response to “What does the syllabus say?” I take it a step further by following it with, “It says we should be doing…, by Sunday at midnight.”

It’s hard not being a mom, while I’m also a student. However, as a mom I had to begin the process of cutting the apron strings if I were to send out independent young men into the world. While I don’t have my teaching degree just yet, I feel like I’m getting to practice even while I’m a student. This means that I need to do more then set a good example in class, but also to teach the other students by that example, a lesson of how to be pro-active in their learning process by being responsible for their education and just do it!

If it doesn’t rain today as it was trying to while I was walking my four miles, I’ll work in the yard and take a break from being a student. I give my informative speech next friday and I want to pratice it a few more times, so I'll work on that later. I did say I'll try to take a break from being a student at least for a part of the day.

This has been an exciting day, we got to do impromtu speeches, oh joy! I pulled out of the bag a cardboard paper towel tube, gave my introduction, three points and conclusion. Tomorrow we get to do another round of impromtu's, I just can't wait! If you're thinking that impromtu speeches are the cause of my excitement, you're kidding yourselves. The source of my excitment came during speech class when my teacher handed me an envelope. As she handed it to me, she congratulated me on my achievement. I had no idea what she was talking about and cautiously opened the envelope to see what it was about. Well, let me tell you what it said, the Psi Iota Chapter of NCTC have recognized me as a distinguished student and have invited me to join Phi Theta Kappa. I'll join and get involved as much as I can. The benefits of membership are worth the time and effort required over the long run. My English Professor has said, "writing makes you smarter" and I sure have been doing a lot of writing since I started college, so maybe I am smarter.

I am finding it really hard to slow down, both physically and mentally this semester. My internal clock has changed again. I go to bed between 10-11pm but get up between 4-5am. It's strange, because I feel rested and energized as I hit the floor on the run. I tend to get quite a bit of school work finished really early before I go outside to walk or ride four miles and all before my first class starts at 9am. Today, is different and I'm here at the computer forcing myself to slow down just for a short break until I need to pick up the pace again.

I just got home from packing up my father-in-law's mobile home and will fix lunch for everyone before going over to his new retirement apartment. It would have been great to have had more time to move him, but he sold his trailer during the week and closed on fri. and must be out by mon. However, the family is really releaved that he finally sold his trailer and is moving to the retirement village. He's been living by himself now for almost two years. Even though he is in really good health for someone who is 89 years old, he is slowing down and needs companionship. The retirement village has everything! He'll take his main meal in the main community center where they have a library, exercise room, barber shop, health care clinic as well as a game room, music and sunday services. His one bedroom apartment has a kitchen, a utility room, living and one bathroom. The bedroom and bathroom have a call chain to pull in case of an emergency which makes all of feel so much better. He is really looking forward to having the weekly cleaning service. This move should be his last and now puts him only about 10 minutes away from all of us. We still have some stuff to move out of his trailer, but most of it fit on the truck we rented. I'll have to go over to the apartment and unpack and organize everything after I clean it all. I didn't realize how bad he has let things go while living by himself. Mike has been the one to visit him while I've been busy with everything else. There will be a lot of things that need to be donated or have a garage sale to get rid of. He won't need most of his cooking and baking stuff so we'll scale everything down to the basics. We will need to purchase a large bookcase to fit all of the books he reads in. He really loves to read and it helps to keep his mind sharp. Thankfully, this weekend is going to beautiful with mid-80's for the temperatures.

Tomorrow, I'll hit the books to study for an algebra test over the whole chapter! I also have a speech test to study for and sometime before wed. I need to get my English paper organized and written.

More later when I have a little more time to breathe without hearing the clock ticking time away.

I’ve been reminded that I haven’t blogged in a while, thank you Kendra, I’ll try to update more often. ;-)

I left off with my first day back to college for the fall semester. Already I can tell that this is going to be such a different semester overall. First, let me start with how hard it is to describe what it feels like when you are empowered, as I am feeling now. It isn’t because I’m into my third semester. It’s much deeper then that. I’ve really grasped hold of and embraced the truth of whom I am and why I have been created. God has equipped me with specific talents and gifts. I’ve been aware of them and have always tried to use them in service to the Lord. However, I don’t know if I fully understood or embraced these treasures. I had it backwards, my heart knew it, but my head wasn’t convinced. I’ll try to expound on this in relationship to school.

In my first semester I wanted to do everything correctly, more out of a sense of fear. There was the fear of not doing something right and getting negative attention or worst, being rejected if I didn’t do everything to perfection (faulty thinking). Up until spring break of that semester, I was overwhelmed and stressed by the college experience. I thank God often for my first two professors! Both took the time to understand where I was coming from and proceeded to help equip me with a strong foundation to build my college experience on. During this time I became aware of what God has given me…really aware of it. I found myself thinking that maybe I actually had an intellectual ability and wasn’t so…, well there are too many adjectives to select from. Anyway, I found myself identifying some areas of my early childhood life that had been imprinted with wrong information (leading to faulty thinking). With this realization I then discovered what positive input was doing to these wrong messages, overriding them! Add that to getting 100’s on almost every paper, my confidence began to grow. It’s funny to say this, but I wasn’t becoming more confident because of my grades or even the positive comments. I think being in college gave me the opportunity to practice confidence. And practice I did and am doing!

From the first semester until now, the Lord has placed young students and even my teachers into my life for very specific purposes. I get to practice what He has equipped me with; to comfort others with the same comfort He has given me, to encourage others and stir them up out of complacency as well as other areas. The most important one has been walking through the halls and sitting in the classrooms as a mirror to reflect the light of the Lord as a way to provide the message of hope. There is more to life then simply going to school to get an education so that you will get a better paying job, but a lot of these kids/young adults have no hope. I see them walking around like little lost sheep. I can’t do it for them, but I can represent the one who can, every day in every situation as I walk amongst them. My precious DIL, Michelle wrote in her blog some deep thoughts along these lines. She talked about relationship with Christ being sufficient as it will affect your life in every aspect. Such wise insight for someone so young! This is the truth behind living for the Lord. It’s all about relationship first; the lifestyle, words and works will come naturally afterward as we imitate Jesus. This is why I’m physically in school and not behind a computer screen taking classes. There is need to develop relationships with those I come in contact as a way to witness God’s love and life to each one and it must start with my daily relationship with the Lord.

Back to my “epiphany” labeled empowerment. When you come to this enlightened realization, you aren’t just better equipped, you discover how empowered you are; “the truth will set you free.” I am free to do as well as I put effort into my education. I’m also free from undo stress and self-punishment when I have done my best and don’t receive the 100% grade (and found that the sun still rises in the east every morning). I am experiencing validation and unconditional relationship outside of the bubble of my marriage. I am hearing the same positive messages I have heard from my husband, children and friends in such a way as to make an impact on all of those wrong messages. I’m not sure if this journey has been about finding “me”, as much as it has been about discovering who God had created me to be, accepting and then embracing this truth.

Okay, so this isn’t really talking about what subjects I’m taking or what I’m doing in each class. I’ll get to that in another posting. Thank you for expressing your interest in reading about my journey of discovery and enlightenment (academically, personally and spiritually) as I continue this walk and encounter God in every aspect of my life.

College classes started on Monday this week and I now have a few minutes to update. I have reset my alarm to get up at 5:45am which allows me the time I need to walk four miles each morning, eat breakfast and read the paper before getting ready for school which starts for me at 9am.

This semester I’m taking Public Speaking, English 1302 and Beginning Algebra, in this order on purpose. After taking pre-algebra this summer and the brain-strain I experienced four days a week for four weeks, I decided that I needed to take it as the last class of the day. I wanted to have some ability to comprehend what I will be learning in the first two classes before I’m left with mush for a brain as a result of sitting in algebra. I do have a feeling though, that this class won’t be as bad as I felt about it this summer. The teacher reviewed on Wednesday and I was actually able to follow along and not feel overwhelmed or mentally exhausted by the end of the class. So far, I think the class will be different due to the teacher’s style, it clicks with mine. At least the light stayed on and I understood everything we were going over. My other two classes are going to be exciting and I’m looking forward to getting involved with the learning as well as the participation part. My speech teacher reminds me of my Aunt. She has given me enough insight as to what her personality is like and as a result I have a feeling that I’ll be learning a lot from her. As for English, I have the same teacher as I had for my first semester and that was certainly by choice. I learned a lot in his class, both personally and academically. This class is larger then the first one with him and he has started working on his doctorate. We’ll see how well he does while under the stress of teaching three classes and being a student.

I don’t expect that I will have the same experience as I had in my first semester of college. I am thankful for the wonderful and overall positive experience of that first semester and wouldn’t trade it for anything. However, I have always thought about each life experience as stepping stones along our paths. Ever the optimist, I anticipate that this semester will be a good one and perhaps even better as I am better equipped to glean more knowledge and experiences from my time in college.

However optimistic I may be, I desire your continued prayers, especially concerning my math classes. Your prayers thus far have helped me get through the adjustments of college life and leaning. I know they made a huge difference this summer while I took pre-algebra. Please continue to keep me covered as I pursue my college career. Speaking of algebra, I have some homework to get finished.

27 years ago today my life changed for the better as I married my soul-mate, best guy-friend, lover, promoter, helper, protector and provider. Michael has been all that I expected and more for a husband. He has allowed me to grow at my own pace; allowed me to stretch my wings and experience independence and along these paths he has always supported me with encouragement as he believes I can do anything I set my mind to do. I am a blessed woman and so thankful for my husband whom God has given to me. Each year has it's new discoveries and experiences, but always the love grows deeper.

Happy Anniversary Michael, I love you!

Hello everyone! I hope your summer has been fun, mine has. I just got home late last night from my visit to see my brother and his family in Oregon. I have a wonderful neighbor who works for Southwest and she has given me passes to fly anywhere Southwest goes to. However, flying from Dallas means that I have to first fly to New Mexico before I can fly on to Portland. That is the least amount of stops I make if I’m lucky. I’m also flying standby which can be a challenge when the seats are overbooked as they were going both ways on this visit. I just allowed my faith to grow and trust that I would get onto each plane without having to reroute my trip or have to wait for the next flight and then reschedule the rest of each leg of the trip. It can be nerve racking but I’ve learned to go with the challenge and see it as God opportunities as I encounter a variety of people from all over the country. I’m always amazed each time as I become aware of the conversations and the opportunity to minister to those around me.

My visits to Oregon are always good; busy but very productive. I took the kids to a local farm to pick peaches and apples after we made a grocery shopping trip with our menu list for the week. I do all of the cooking when I visit as a way to help give them a break from their busy work schedules. The plan was to make jams, pies, and whatever else we had time to do. I was able to give my niece April, some cooking lessons. She learned how to use a paring knife and helped peel peaches and apples. We let her mom know about the lesson, but it was best that her mom wasn’t there to watch her baby using a knife. I managed to get pies, cobblers and apple crisp in the freezer along with making strawberry syrup and a few jams, apple sauce and a couple of casseroles to enjoy later. I was able to prepare a few pie fixings with written instructions on how to use and make a few more pies. This trip allowed me to visit the state without packing my long-johns as I have had to do on my other visits. Oregon actually has blue skies like we do. I’m use to being there when it’s raining all of the time and cold. They haven’t had rain for awhile and so everything was brown, but the temperatures where pleasant enough for shorts and the evenings cooled down quite a bit. My brother took a day off from work so that we could visit a winery where we were able to taste a variety of locally grown and made wines. I came home with four bottles! Two are for my neighbor as he was so appreciative of her giving me a ticket to visit and two for me. I like my wines on the sweet side and discovered a white and a red that I really liked. After the winery (tasting at 10am in the morning!) we went on to a state park to hike. My brother and I could have gone for another five miles on top of the five we did, but the kids couldn’t go any further and we hadn’t packed food. I love having the opportunity to visit, it isn’t a vacation but I feel good about the time I spend with all of them.

I’ve spent the day resting from my trip so that I can get busy and finish working on my projects around here before classes start next week. When I was looking over my calendar today I realized next Monday I’ll be in classes. I’m excited about starting back up again but not today…I’ve been tired all day and will have to get back onto my regular time before I can think about any more adventures. Visiting is good, but I’m always happy to come home to my own routines and my husband!

We're getting the motorhome ready for our vacation which starts tomorrow. Sometimes, there are so many preparations just to get everything ready that I don't want to leave. Then, I start thinking of all of the projects I'm wanting to get started and finished before the fall semester starts...but, I know that once we get onto the road and just go we enjoy our time away from the regular routine so much that we don't want to come home!

I hope the temperatures are as mild as it has been lately. We aren't going very far, just to Lake Murrey in Oklahoma, but it is in the Arbuckle Mountain range and maybe it'll be cooler there. We're taking our bikes and walking sticks since we love to be outdoors doing active stuff. I'm hoping that the resort has paddle boats to rent so that we can get out onto the lake. We usually do so much hiking, biking and whatever else we can find to do that by evening, we are ready to shower and go to bed. We have a T.V. in the motorhome and can take movies with us, but it's nice to just play games, read or just crash after a busy activity filled day.

Mike didn't grow up camping but I did! There was a period of time when I hated going camping as a teenager, but now I love it as does Mike. I think he even likes the preparation time. He usually checks everything out to make sure everything is in working order like the air pressure in the tires, the propane and all of the electrical stuff along with the batteries (basically the 'guy-stuff'). He also washes the outside and loads up whatever isn't already in the storage compartments. I do all of the inside stuff: clean it again (it's amazing how fast spiders can make webs when not using the motorhome not to mention the dust), pack clothes and food stuff and make sure we have all of the basics refilled or replaced. I don't stop with the motorhome, I can't stand to leave the house unless it's cleaned, laundry is done and everything is in it's place. Before we end the day, the yardwork will all get done and watered if it isn't going to rain while we are gone. It's a lot of work just to go on vacation, but at least we have most of our basics all together in the motorhome and once we get there we just plug in and hook up water, then sit back and relax for the week.

Once we get home, after we clean out the motorhome and do laundry, I have to go up to the college to pay for my tuition for the fall semester. It'll cost more then my first semester and even my summer classes, but at least I have all of my books paid for. I've been getting my books ordered online for half the price of the used books at school! I can't justify paying $115 for my algebra book when I was able to get a brand new one for $30. The only thing I have had to do was get all of the information about the books I'll need for each class and then go online to find them, order and wait anywhere from one to three weeks. It is worth the time and effort on my part to get my books for a great price.

And then, my neighbor offered to give me a free pass to fly up to Oregon so that I can visit my brother and his family for a week. It might be a challenge to locate a seat (it's stand-by status) with the allotted time period I have before school starts on the 30th, but I hope I'll be able to go. They have a lot of fruit on their land and are surrounded by farmers who grow various types. My SIL Maria wants me to show her how to can and make jams. It'll be intense getting very much done in the week I'll have up there, but it'll be fun to spend time with all of them. I've missed keeping my niece and nephew for the summer as I did last summer.

Somehow, in between all of this busy schedule we will be celebrating our 27th anniversary. I'm beginning to think that after summer classes and everything else that has taken place in such a short period of time, it might feel like a break once school starts for the fall. It's a thought, I'll let you know if it's reality...I have to take beginning algebra and we all know how much I "loved pre-algebra!"

Hope everyone is having a great summer!

Yesterday was my last day of summer semester and it went by really quickly. Eight more hours to add to my college time! I like taking classes in the summer, just not math classes ;-) As for the classes that count towards my degree, I have maintained a 4.0 average (I got an 88 in pre-algebra, but it’s a developmental class and won’t count). I hope to be able to do the same with my classes this fall, but I’m not going to focus only on the grade. I simply love learning and being in class interacting with students and teachers. I have until Aug. 30th off to catch up on some sewing projects, take a vacation and just rest before fall semester starts. Resting might include a lot of reading. I’m finding that I’m reading so much more then I use to (a novel every 2-3 days). It’s interesting how I just can’t seem to learn fast enough and get the information stuffed into my brain.

I know that timing is everything and the time to be back in school now has been the perfect timing; however, I feel that I have just now awakened. That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t awake for the past 26 years, only that what I was doing during those years wasn’t challenging me to my fullest potential. I’m not suggesting that being a wife and mother isn’t challenging, but there are some things we all can do that just comes naturally. I suppose that these past 26 years gave me the time to live in peace, safety and the security that I needed to grow up and be able to face challenges again. I feel very blessed to have a husband who has allowed me the time to just grow up and now gives me the support I need as I continue on this journey through college.

Speaking of growing up: My eldest son, Jason turned 26 on Mon. It doesn’t feel like 26 years since he was born, but then again I don’t feel like a mother old enough to have a child that is 26! When I see pictures of his two sons, I can see bits of him and it transports me back in time when it was Jason in that scene as if it were only yesterday. Time has a way of flying by and while there have been times that were difficult, I have enjoyed every moment of it.

I suspect this will be a very busy week, starting with today. Michelle is being given another baby shower this afternoon and while we have already given them baby gifts, I have a sweater set with the bonnet and booties that my Grandmother crocheted 26 years ago. I saved a few things with the idea of passing them on to my grandchildren. This set is in perfect condition since both boys were so big, they didn't wear it more then a few times each and they never wore the bonnet, it just looked too baby girl! So, I will pass it on to Kayleigh as the representation of her great-great-granny and the spiritual heritage both of my grandparents set up for their future generations.

 Monday is my P.E. physical test. It'll be a challenge to get it finished, home to shower, eat lunch and leave for Art class and be on time. I'll send my professor a message to let her know that I may not be on time, but will be there. Tue is a test in Art and then Thur. evening is my Art Appreciation Finals being done at the Dallas Museum of Art. I'm taking Mike and his Dad to expose them to the arts just a little bit more. ;-) His Dad enjoyed himself at the last museum we took him to; I think he'll really enjoy this one. What will be fun Thur. evening is that the museum makes it a little more special with musicians and wine, it'll provide an atmosphere to enjoy the "whole" experience. It may be a little crowded and there is a lot more to see at the DMA, I hope Grandpa will be okay with it, he doesn't really like big crowds.

I can hardly believe that this next week will be finals for both classes even though we will still have one more week of classes. The schedule says that the summer sessions are five weeks, but in reality, they are only four. I won't ever take a math class in the summer, but I plan on taking at least two classes per session for the next two summers so that I'll be able to graduate as quickly as possible. It can be a lot of work and I'm exhausted all of the time, but I want to get my teaching certificate and start teaching!

I've been talking to a few students who took speech class. One of the speeches we will give is a controversial one and I already have mine outlined from one of my papers in English called, "Why Immunize?"  I have yet to come across anyone who will choose to not immunize and especially from those who read my paper (it was an argumentative paper so I had to present both sides). I feel so passionate about this topic that I will try to get it submitted to a parenting magazine. Parents need to know the truth and not make their decision to forego immunizations based on an unproven theory that has been floating around. As for other speeches, I have two more outlined and hope that I'll get to give both of them. I'm actually looking forward to speech class; I loved it in High School and expect that I'll love it just as much now.

I still love being in College, learning, growing and ministering to those around me. Don't be surprised if I share that I won't want to stop at a bachelor's degree and who knows but that I will continue on to get my Doctorate. That will of course depend on how well I am able to balance my time between family, home, teaching and continuing college and above all, what God's plan is for my life. 

 

This is Robert Campin's most famous work of art called, The Merode Alterpiece or the Annuciation. A brief discription: the left panel represents Isaiah as he wrote in Isaiah 10 of the coming Christ. The center panel is Gabriel announcing to Mary that she would be the mother of Jesus. Look around the room in this section and you will notice many symbols of the virgin mother, the Jewish heritage, the Lion of Judah, the baby Jesus floating from the oculus window carrying a cross and a few others. The right panel is Joseph at is carpentry work. In the lower right hand corner are the tools which sybolize how Jesus will die and are referenced in Isaiah 10. The mouse trap in the window symbolizes the trap Satan would fall into (by his own deception) with Jesus as the bait. If you have a chance to look up more about this painting, you'll find it interesting too, Enjoy! 

Today is Kayleigh's first dinner at my house, of course she only gets to eat it second hand once her mother eats and then nurses her. ;-)  The best part will be the chocolate buttermilk cake with the chocolate fudge frosting, it's not too early to introduce her to chocolate!
 
We haven't seen Kayleigh for a week to allow Justin and Michelle time to bond with her as much as they can while living in a town surrounded by both sides of the family and a lifetime of friends. However, one week is going to be my limit before I start having withdrawal symtoms.
 
Okay, enough about Kayleigh (will there ever really be enough said about her?) Back to my journey down this path of education.
 
I'm in Art Appreciation this semester and loving it! My professor is great, very knowledgable and well traveled. I'm kind of wishing I had taken this during a regular semester so that I could really enjoy it. We give our first oral presentation about an artist this week. I drew from the envelope,  Robert Campin, whom I didn't know anything about before last week. His era and style have been interesting, especially concerning the facts about the symbolism in his painting and how they all relate to Christ.  I put together a powerpoint presentation, which was relatively easy to do and will only get easier the more I use this resource.  Since I'm a visual and kinetic learner, I will also put together a triptych (3 paneled piece of art) with a copy of the main art piece he is most famous for as a "hands on" visual for the other students to pass around. Who knows but that I will be able to use this along with the note cards I put together for some other class. I've learned that you keep everything you do in college as you go along just in case you need it for another class project. Anyway, as I was saying, this class has been fun and I'm really enjoying it a lot. Needless to say, Art appreciation more then makes up for last semester's pre-algebra class.


 

One happy Ame (that's what I'm called for Grandmother). Kayleigh is less then a day old and so tiny at 7lbs 3oz compared to her daddy who weighed in at 9lb 6.5oz. It's really nice to have a baby in the family! 

Sorry I haven't posted sooner, but it's been a very busy week! Kayleigh finally decided it was time to see everyone on Monday. I took lunch over to Justin and Michelle's at 11am, along with some snacks. Justin had called a couple of times during the morning wanting to know if we were coming over anytime soon. He said Michelle wasn't being very nice to him while she was in labor. I took a book to read knowing that Michelle most likely wasn't going to want to talk through her contractions. I made sure she had water to drink, ate a little and timed her contractions. She did great! I'm really proud of her as she walked and rocked through her pains. Justin and his dad were in the garage working on a bookshelf. That was the best thing for Justin to do, he came in to check on Michelle often but for the most part stayed out of the way. I gave him 30min. notice to wrap it up and get a shower before leaving for the hospital. When we left her house around 4pm her contractions were a minute apart.

All that laboring got her to 4 cm. Michelle was so tired and didn't think she could make it any longer without drugs. We all knew when she received them. Justin walked out to the waiting room with a smile on his face saying, "Michelle likes me again." After about an hour, her mother, sister and I got to go in and stay with her. Michelle had asked me earlier to take lots of pictures throughout the whole event and so I did, two rolls!

The pace picked up pretty quickly and everyone got into their places. It was hard to stay focused through the tears once Kayleigh crowned. The Doctor instructed me when to take the photo of Justin cutting the cord. It was all I could do to stand on tip-toes over his hairy arm as he positioned the scissors. There is nothing like being in such close proximity to the birth of your grandchild! The clock read 10:30pm and the room was filled with a mixture of awe, excitement and tears. The joy of a new life entering into this world is beyond compare to anything else.

Kayleigh weighed in at 7lbs. 3oz and is 19" long. Her hair looked pretty red at first, but as it dried it is dark blond with the hint of strawberry red coloring. She is beautiful and we are all so glad she came, late as it was but just on time to cooperate with my break in-between my two summer sessions at college.

I went back to classes on Wed. but was able to help them go home from the hospital that afternoon. No matter how busy school may be, there will always be enough time to stop by and see Kayleigh.

love you all!

She's here! This is our grandaughter Kayleigh Lynn  

I’m learning a lot so far, not just academically but I have learned a lot about myself. I know that when faced with something that is difficult I have two choices. I can either quit or I can dig in, stand fast and not be moved from my determination to just do it! Sometimes it is hard work to stand fast, but the reward I receive during the battle and then in the end, make it worth it. I have grown in confidence as a result of confronting opposition. I use to think that it was easier to walk away from difficult situations as a way to not rock the boat. However, I have learned that if there is something I want to accomplish then nothing can stand in my way. Even when something gets in the way, I am learning how to work through, over, or around it and when necessary, work with it.

Being in College keeps me on my knees in prayer. Prayer works, along with a lot of studying. This is the first finals test I have had to take this year. Last semester I was exempt from taking the finals in my first class since I already had an A. In my English class our last paper counted as our finals. I had my pre-algebra finals today and stayed long enough for the teacher to run the scantron through the machine so that I could see my grade for this test and then she logged it for the final grade. I really wanted an A on this test and I got it! I actually made a 96 on the test which gives me an overall grade of 88 for the class. I’m okay with it; no, not just okay, I’m really excited about this grade! Earlier this month I began to think that I might have to settle for a C in this class. However, for the past two weeks I started “getting it” and felt that maybe I should start expecting to receive a B. I don’t advise anyone to take a math course during a short five week summer session if they aren’t strong in their mathematical skills. I suppose if I were to think about how much I have accomplished in this class on top of the very short semester with math not one of my strengths, then I would conclude that I have done really well. I even started to enjoy the geometry section we finished up with. While I haven’t said I hated math, I can’t quite say that I love it. This is just a class I have to get through, get the grade to add to my requirements so that I can move on toward my degree.

I have a week off before the next summer session starts. Hopefully, during this time off our granddaughter will make her arrival. Today is her official due date and so far no sign that this will be her birthday. She’ll come in her own good time and now I have time to do some baking before we get the phone call to meet at the hospital. I’m planning on making cookies to take to the hospital for all of us who will be there for the birth. This is Michelle’s first child which could mean a long wait. I’ll keep everyone posted about the birth.

Thanks again to everyone who keeps me in their prayers as I pursue my dream of getting my degree. Love you!

I did it! I just finished my walk/jog finals and did 42 laps and I only needed 40. I did better then I thought I would, so late in the day. One thing I discovered about walking on such a hard surface as that gym has(not wood floors)is that my shins are feeling it. I wouldn't have thought there would be much difference from walking on pavement, but my legs are telling me otherwise. I feel pretty good about the whole thing, especially when one of the other students (3 of us total)only finished 44 laps and she jogged part of hers and is much younger. Anyway, I have an A for the class (this grade counts toward my degree). I'm pretty sure this is the first time I have received an A for P.E. due to my past history of asthma. Only one more week of journal logs to turn in and then grades will be posted. Of course, I get to do part two of this class next month. I'll get to do my test earlier in the morning since my other class for the next semester will start at noon and last until 2:30pm.

Now, for finals in pre-algebra...next week with lots of reviews until then. Keep me in prayers for this class.

I'm out of class early today which works out nicely since I have my P.E. final this afternoon. I wasn't happy about the time slots available to do the walking test portion for this class. I normally walk anywhere from 5:30-6:30am. The coach in charge of this class said the Lewisville Rec. center (where we will walk/jog) doesn't open that early. I don't like walking later in the day that is normally when I take a "stroll-slow leisurely pace" with my dog. I prefer to walk before I eat anything, I seem to go faster early rather then later in the day. However, I should be okay with time and distance. Being a non-traditional student works to my advantage for the test. I will only have to walk 2miles in 30min. I normally do 12min. miles...early in the mornings. This has been a slow week for me in general, I'm not sure what is going on with my time. I ended up sleeping for an hour yesterday after coming home from class. When I woke up, I thought I had slept until it was time for Mike to come home, but it had only been an hour. My body must be tired. As a result of feeling slow this week I decided to not walk this morning as a way to save my energy for the timed test this afternoon. I'll have time to eat a light lunch and then rest for a short period before going over to the rec. center. This will be the last part of the finals for P.E.!

We have had so much rain that our grass is growing quickly and needs to be mowed again! Since I will be in my work-out clothes and needing to take another shower, I'll just mow first. Ever the optimist as I find the good to every situation. ;-)

There is no cramming for a math test; my brain can only handle so much! This has become obvious when I have been dreaming for the past three nights that I'm doing algebra problems, even waking from taking a short nap dreaming about math problems. I finally finished 12 pages of homework which is intended to be our review and prep for the next test on Tuesday.

I am thankful for a husband who has been able to help me with most of this assignment, and where he didn't remember how to work the problems, Justin, my youngest son has helped. What a blessing to be able to call him up and ask him to explain the workings of a problem. When he realized that it would be easier for me to get the concept by actually seeing how it was worked out, he took some time out of his Saturday to come over and walk me through it. I’m not sure if he realizes it, but he would make a really great teacher. He understands that I’m visual and needed to see how each step is done, not just the short cuts. He definitely inherited his mathematical abilities from his dad’s side!

I can remember when Justin was in middle-school and sitting across the dinner table quietly contemplating some equation (none of us even realizing we had produced a mathematical problem). However, within a few seconds as the dinner conversation continued, Justin proceeded to announce the mathematical solution. Everyone sat there looking at him and then at one another before we even realized what he had just done. I sat there and realized that my son had passed me by where it came to the field of math. I looked at him and the only thought that came to mind was thinking he was like a calculator, a walking, breathing calculator!

Being surrounded and supported by a few family members (my dear DIL, Michelle included) who are brilliant in the math field has helped my confidence to grow in this area. I just wished I had a few of their math genes, but then again if I did, I may not have other areas of talents and creativity to shine in. Maybe, I’ll just get through algebra, get the grade and then I won’t have to think about it too much afterwards. After all, this isn’t the area I’m going into. That is what I keep reminding myself. If you think about it, keep me in prayers to be able to comprehend and apply everything I'm learning in this class.
love and blessings!

Just a quick comment: I finally found a new template for my blog and in my colors! So, I thought I would change it as it seems everyone has been changing theirs. ;-)

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine, that is what that big bright yellow thing in the sky is, right? I was beginning to feel like we were in the Pacific Northwest...well, for the rain, not the temp. I love walking in the mornings and seeing everything so green but was thinking that when it starts getting really hot, it'll feel like a sauna as the sun heats up the moisture in the ground. Better enjoy while we can, it's suppose to rain some more over the weekend.

I'm catching up on yard and house work. Fridays are my day off from school and I try to cram as much of everything else into the day. My teacher said we shouldn't study math for more then 30min. at a time because our short term memory can't store the information beyond that. She suggested that we study for 30min. and then take a break before coming back to it for another 30min. I was thinking about that and wondered if after our first 30min. in class is all we are going to comprehend and the rest of 2.5 hrs. is lost on us. The interesting thing about the proceedures, rules and steps I have to remember to solve the different math equations, do seem to catch up with me several hours later in the day. I'll probably work on a few pages later today, we have another test on Tue.
Enjoy the day!

Okay everyone, I’ve had my first algebra test and passed it! However, I’m not happy about the grade, but I have given myself permission to get less then 100% on everything and as long as I'm doing my best then that’s okay, I’ll work a bit harder and try to do better the next time.

I woke really early today having dreamt that I was doing math problems, should I be concerned? I have a teacher friend who is from Peru and she was helping me to learn some Spanish years ago when we both taught at the same private school. When I mentioned that I was dreaming and speaking Spanish, she got really exciting and said that it indicated that my brain was “getting” it and I was "thinking" in the language even if only while I was sleeping. Maybe, my most recent dream is along the same idea and I’m starting to get it and think in math terms. I just hope that I’ll be “getting” it while I’m awake, especially while taking test!

I spend several hours per week working on extra math problems just to get more comfortable with what I’m doing. My husband has been really patient about my need to have my work checked. . .every few problems at a time rather then do a whole page and then have it checked. There was one day this week where I was actually getting into the flow of working the problems out and I found myself thinking that I might be enjoying what I was doing. It was a fleeting moment. . .I’m still not changing my major to teaching math. ;-)

I started my first class in pre-algebra this morning. Classes are three hours long each day, monday through thursday. The test are taken on our time in the testing center and I have to make an appointment to take it. That'll mean that I take my lunch with me on those days so that I can take the test after my class. I won't have time to do it before class starts since I am also taking a P.E. class and I have to do that before I leave the house or it'll be too hot later in the day.

On my drive to school, I prayed for the teacher, classmates and asked for favor, specifically that the Lord would allow my brain to absorb the information so that I'll do well in the class. I even prayed that if it were possible to use visual aides to teach math, that my teacher was one who taught that way. We shouldn't be so amazed when our prayers are answered so quickly. Ms. Gayden is one of those math teachers who does use visual aides to help teach the concepts. So far, or at least my first impressions tell me that I'll get a lot out of this class and I'm going to enjoy having this teacher.

When I took algebra in High School, I received A's and I even enjoyed the class, but it's not my strength or perhaps I should say, "I don't get excited about math like some people I know." I was hoping that I would start to remember everything I learned so many years ago. I haven't...at least I didn't feel totally lost, not even overwhelmed! However, I realized how very little I do remember (I don't even remember anything about the term,integers!) as we went through the first chapter of the book, which is about 125 pages. As if that wasn't enough to start our first day with, we started the first few pages of chapter two! Our first test is on Mon. and homework is due on tue and thur. This is going to be a very fast paced class as we attempt to stuff nine chapters of information into our brains in only one month.

My goal, other then to achieve an A in the class is to remember more of what I had learned in algebra, enough at least to be able to retest and pass into college algebra. Otherwise, I'll end up having to take two more classes before I can take college level math. I really don't want to have 6 more hours of math classes; classes that don't even count for my college credits! However, I am not going to rush through it just to get the grade. I want to learn the information and be able to apply it. So, I am prepared to work at it, do my best and "grow where I'm planted."

Now, to order my book and hope that it will get here this week. I really don't want to do the listed assignment all in one weekend! Being the optimist, I'll get the most out of this class experience; however, don't expect to hear me say that I'm changing my major to teach math. ;-)

Yesterday was the first baby shower held for my DIL Michelle, you could tell it was for a baby girl with all of the pinks, lavenders and other girly stuff she received. Kayleigh is expected to arrive July 2nd . I’m trying to talk her into June 24th , it’s just a really good number. Michelle and Justin were married on March 24th, Mike and I were married on Aug. 24th and then there is my birthday which is Dec. 24th. So you see, the 24th is just a really great day! However, when ever she decides to arrive is okay with me since we have modern technology, meaning that I will have my cell phone with me and turned on at all times. I will need to explain to my professor this next semester that my phone will be on as I await the call which will let me know that Michelle has gone into labor. She has blessed me with an invitation to be in the delivery room during the birth of our first granddaughter. I can’t think of a better way for the women in Kayleigh's life to bond with her as we share her arrival together. Justin and the Doctor may be the only two guys in the room. Justin might as well get used to being the only guy as he goes home to all females, including the dog!

I (called Ame) have the assignment of taking pictures while Michelle’s mother (called Granny) will be using the video camera. You can expect to see a photo of Kayleigh posted here as I will have to show her off to everyone!

While delivering two sons through natural childbirth was a wonderful experience, being in the room without the pain will be a whole other opportunity to share is a blessed event. I was with my sister during her very long labor and was there to help deliver my nephew during the difficult delivery. It’s an emotional experience to be part of a birthing and one that I look forward to. So, if you are in class with me and my phone goes off and I rush out of the school building, it won’t be for a fire…it’ll be for the birth of Kayleigh!

love and blessings!

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21 (NAS)

I love this verse, especially when I think about being in college at this time in my life. I’m amazed how He has brought me along this path of learning and leaning on Him so that I may walk in abundant life, not just mediocrity. Not that I would call being a wife and then a mother mediocre, it’s just that I didn’t think there would be more to my life. There are days when I wonder if one semester of college has opened my eyes along with my “spiritual eyes” to see life situations differently or if I had finally seen those situations clearly before going to school which in turn released me to be able to be in college. I’m leaning towards the latter, believing that I had to first realize that God did have more for me, more then the “Irregular People” in my life had expected for me.
I’ve been reading a few books, two of them recommended by two counselors from college. At the moment, I’m impressed by “Irregular People” it’s as if I could have written this book about the irregular people in my life. Let me define “Irregular People.” These are people related to you by blood or marriage and they tend to rain on your life’s parade. I finally understand that they don’t define who I am or what I will do or don’t do in life, unless I give them the power to do so. I wish the relationships with these three “Irregular People” in my life were ideal, but they are not and they may never be. So, I accept, not resign myself, but accept them as they are. . .”Irregular People.” This is a revelation which has freed me to experience “far more abundantly beyond all that I asked for or thought” I would experience in my life.
I pray that you are experiencing an abundant life in Him as He works within you. Love and blessings!

I have been checking off one item at a time on my "To-Do" list and realized that I may finish everything before my summer classes start. So, I sent out a message asking for a prefered reading list and my DF (dear friend) Betsy sent her list (from Brit Lit I a class she teaches). It'll keep me busy for awhile! I'm all for pro-active learning and decided to see what I could find while I waited for a reply for my request. I found several books online to start with, check this site out (http://www.literature.org/authors/). I could find most of the suggested books from the list Betsy sent on other sites. It's different reading a book online, you can't curl up on the sofa or take it with you to read in bed. However, I don't have to find space in my many bookshelves that are already running over, if I were to purchase these books. I could just go to the Library and check them out, but then there is the time issue and having to take them back and the possibility they don't have one or more of the books. I started reading a couple of poems of the listed authors and they are in Old English, yuk! Everything endeth with a lisp or so it seems if you try to read them out loud. One site even has recordings where you actually hear a narrator reading with an English accent. Somehow, the readings sound better with the correct accent. If you haven't looked for an online book to read, give it a try.
love you!

Today I went up to the school to turn in my books. I didn't need to keep any of the books but I wasn't sure about two books since they are considered workbooks and I did write in them. But, at the last minute as I was walking out the door, I decided to take all three of my books. I'm glad I did, they bought back two of them. Of course what they gave me for them wasn't even half of what I paid for my used English book! Something is better then nothing and the refund will pay for the book and weekly journals I need for my P.E. class. I won't need to go up there again until June 1.
I'm off to meet with a friend for lunch, we don't get to do this very often (she has four kids and I'm normally in classes). Have a great week!

Grades are posted! I already had my grade for my first class, actually knew that I had an A in that class since Spring Break. I worked for my grade in English, learning all of the MLA formatting and how to do works cited and so much more, I really wanted to earn an A in this class. When I woke up this morning I had been dreaming that my teacher said he wasn't happy with my last paper. First thing I did was log online to check if grades had been posted yet, but they weren't. Anyway, just checked and it's an...A! So, one semester down and many more to go.

Two days into my summer break and I was looking forward to sleeping in just a little, but no such luck. At least I didn't get up at 4:45am like yesterday! Today, I finally got up around 5:30am, but I had been awake for an hour or so. The good thing about early mornings is that I'm getting a lot accomplished on my "To-Do" list I prepared over the weekend.

I might have four weeks off from school, but my thoughts aren't far from being there. I'll be taking summer classes and one class is a P.E. walk/jog. I've never been able to jog due to asthma and other physical disadvantages (namely, there are no support tops on the market that truly eliminates bounce which is painful!). However, I decided that I would try what is called a wog, I walk a block, jog a block. I started doing this on Mon. on my way home. Today, I did it both ways and covered 3 miles. No asthma symptoms and I feel great! I want to get an A in P.E. and even though I walk 12min. miles, I'm going to make sure that I get as many miles finished in whatever time limit we are given when it comes to testing. One of my teachers called me an over acheiver, but I don't think I'm an over acheiver, just a high acheiver. I do think it has something to do with being challenged and maybe a little bit of competitiveness on my part. The funny thing about that is that I only compete with myself.

I've always taught on one of the scriptures that tells up, to whom much is given, much is required. I believe that much has been given to me and I want to give back to the Lord in whatever way I can. If that means setting my goals high and working to acheive them, it's all for the glory of the Lord. When I taught in our church's Missionette program, we had a scripture that really stuck with me; "whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might!" Between those two scriptures, I feel driven to press on for the goals I believe have been set before me.

love and blessings!

I don't have classes today and it feels kind of strange, like I'm running behind or something. However, I will be going in today as I need to finalize my Fall schedule and then meet with one of the young girls I have developed a mentoring relationship with. I'm going to miss seeing my classmates M-W-F as well as my English Professor. I shared with a friend how my last couple of weeks have been this semester. I wasn't sure if everyone felt like I was feeling or if I have just been emotional for other reasons. As I reflect back on my past school years, I always did get emotional toward the end of each year. I have always loved being in school to learn, but I also developed close relationships with my classmates. As a child, my Dad was military and that meant we moved a lot (12 schools in 12 yrs.). This meant that I might not see my classmates the following year and would have to start all over again and build new relationships. While I won't be moving away from college, this learning experience is just different. I think the biggest difference has been due to my English Professor. I shared with a friend about my class and she said that I have had an unusual semester and should cherish the experience. She said that there was more to the whole experience and then she suggested that it may have been that my teacher hadn't reached burnout yet, but that he most likely will in future semesters. I hope not, he really contributed a lot in the class and for my first college experience.

Now, I need to plan out my four weeks off from school. I have lots to do, some of it is helping to prepare for our grandaugther who is expected July 2. Her daddy slept in a cradle for his first three months and we are passing it on so that Kayleigh will be sleeping in it. I'll be sewing all new bedding for it, pinks and whites of course!

I may not post very often during this time off since the whole idea of this blog is to talk about my college experience. However, don't count on that! For those of you who know me well, you know that I can talk and writing is the next best thing to talking. On that note, thanks goes to everyone who has supported me as I have begun this journey. You have all been such a blessing to me.
Love you!

I finally did it, I went back to college! Friday was the last day for this semester and I now have four weeks before my summer semester starts. This has been an amazing journey, one that took a lot of growing and stepping out in faith to do. Let me start from the beginning.

About 20 years ago I felt the Lord drop the idea of going back to school into my heart. At that time my family lived in Mo. and our two sons were only four and five years old. There was no way I wanted to pursue something such as going back to school with a family to take care of. So, I busied myself with what I can reflect back and see as preparations for my eventual return to school.

I have always been a teacher, I just never thought of myself as one until much later in life. I started teaching Sunday School in our church in Mo. at the young age of 21. Our church was new and not very large at the time so I had a combined class of kindergarten and First graders. Teaching in church is a really great way to grow spiritually and give back what the Lord had equipped me with. I have always been artistic and very creative, both of these were useful in class. Especially, when there wasn't much money in the church for supplies. That didn't hold my class back, I just improvised with whatever I could find. Our bulletin board for the first two years was made from a piece of cardboard cut from a refrigerator box and covered with butcher paper. Nothing held us back from learning what the Bible lessons were, and the class grew. This class was an open door into mentoring a dear friend as she came back to the Lord and served as my class helper. In time, she felt comfortable to substitute for me when I was on vacation. Through all of this time, I discovered that I had a gift. Teaching and giving encouragement to others are two gifts the Lord has given to me.

I couldn't get enough of teaching during this time and so we took on 12 First and Second graders through Cub Scouts. Our troop earned all of their badges, not just the minimum required and they had fun doing it! By this time, I realized that it was really easy, even with lots of work, to teach children. I forgot to mention, during all of this time I also had an in home infant care. I watched babies from the age of four weeks up to age three when they moved on to the church pre-school program. I did that for six years and loved every minute of it!

This all took place during a period of seven years while we lived in MO. Our next move brought us to TX where we have lived for 15 years. Moving to TX was like the spiritual symbolism of crossing over the Jordan River (Red River) into Canaan Land (TX). This has been a time of great spiritual growth, which also led to emotional healing for myself. The opportunities I had to grow up and learn more of the Bible while I lived and taught in MO prepared me for the next step of growth. It was now the right time for the Lord to fully restore me from my childhood years of trauma and abuse. It hasn't always been easy, but my God is able to deliver and He has walked with me along the way. It has taken the first 14 years to bring me along this path before I was ready to take this faithful step and pursue the desire of my heart.

And so my journey down the academic path has begun. My prayer for this journal is that others will be encouraged and blessed as they see how God is able to do all things and with Him we are more the conquerors. If God has planted a seed of hope in your heart and you aren't sure if it will ever come to pass, don't lose faith. In Ecc. 8:5,6 we read; "Whoever obeys His command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure. For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter..."