I finally hit the point of exasperation with my fellow classmates this week. My Professor warned me a couple weeks ago about this when he expressed his awareness that I would become frustrated with the class. I assured him that I didn’t think I would feel that way this semester, as I have come to terms with the differences between the younger students and myself. I’m in school to learn as much as I can, not just because it’ll get me a better paying job (even though it will), I simply love to learn. I realize the majority of students are there for so many other reasons and not necessarily to learn. Anyway, I have tried to be a buffer between my Professors and the students by encouraging my fellow classmates to get their work done and turned in on time as a way to show respect to the teachers who give so much of themselves. I have done this by sending e-mail reminders, meeting with them in between classes, phone calls and staying after my last class to "tutor" those who have asked for help. However, I am feeling more like “the mom” or “the teacher,” rather than a fellow classmate and it has started to take its toll on me. I am reviewing my personal boundaries and accepting that I can’t do it for everyone; I can only be responsible for my own integrity. This leads me to shortening my responses to pleas for help by simply saying, “What does the syllabus say?” One of my favorite Professors says this a lot! I found this answer to be maddening and actually felt my anger rising when I asked him this question, after looking in the syllabus, during my first semester with him. It reminded me of my parents when they would say, “I said such and such, because I said so!” With this memory in mind, I don’t quite leave my response to “What does the syllabus say?” I take it a step further by following it with, “It says we should be doing…, by Sunday at midnight.”

It’s hard not being a mom, while I’m also a student. However, as a mom I had to begin the process of cutting the apron strings if I were to send out independent young men into the world. While I don’t have my teaching degree just yet, I feel like I’m getting to practice even while I’m a student. This means that I need to do more then set a good example in class, but also to teach the other students by that example, a lesson of how to be pro-active in their learning process by being responsible for their education and just do it!

If it doesn’t rain today as it was trying to while I was walking my four miles, I’ll work in the yard and take a break from being a student. I give my informative speech next friday and I want to pratice it a few more times, so I'll work on that later. I did say I'll try to take a break from being a student at least for a part of the day.